


I’ve Seen That Tree Before

by jessthebrunette



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Being Lost, Humor, Idiots in Love, Jealous Arthur, Love Confessions, M/M, Nobody is Dead, Oblivious Merlin, Secret Crush, So Married, feelings reveal, they don’t, they think they hide it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-02
Updated: 2019-01-02
Packaged: 2019-09-28 07:47:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17178776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jessthebrunette/pseuds/jessthebrunette
Summary: Arthur and Merlin get separated from the Knights collecting firewood, and on an already tense morning, Merlin faces the situation of revealing his true feelings to Arthur, to which he feels the need to also reveal his true self.Or Merlin and Arthur get lost and have to face their feelings for each other. In the middle of a forest, in the early morning, surrounded by trees and spying knights.





	I’ve Seen That Tree Before

Shifting his back up against the hard log, Merlin struggled to sit up straight. He was trying to watch the sun rise over the break in the trees, the knights and Arthur all slept, apart from Lancelot, who was keeping watch behind Merlin. 

The sun rise was always Merlin’s favourite part of a quest, he had survived another day, and had managed to take Arthur through with him, Merlin knew that keeping Arthur safe was a constant headache, as Arthur insisted on throwing himself into the most dangerous situations he could find, such as this one. They were patrolling the outer borders, a patrol that did not require Arthur, who insisted on coming due to the tensions between his own kingdom and the kingdom which lay through the densest forest in Camelot. 

Merlin’s struggle to watch the sunset and quietly celebrate Arthur not being a prat and getting himself killed was due to the turnip head himself, as Merlin glanced down and realised he could not sit up due to Arthur’s gloved hand holding down Merlin’s chest, Arthur had draped himself over Merlin overnight, an occurrence not uncommon when they slept on forest floors or in derelict buildings, but usually not so blatantly in front of the knights. They never discussed it, he and Arthur, they never woke at the same time, Merlin would usually move the hand before Arthur woke, or Arthur would wake up, panic, and slap Merlin in the face in a hurry to move his arm, which he usually disguised as a “wake-up slap”, as he had poetically put it.

“You know, if the others wake up before you move, they’ll make jokes about it,” Lancelot hummed, Merlin sighed, looking up to him, Lancelot knew everything about Merlin, his magic, his destiny, but, most importantly, his biggest secret, his love for Arthur. “Gwaine won’t shut up about it at breakfast.”

“Gwaine never shuts up anyway,” Merlin joked, Lancelot chuckled lightly, smiling down at Merlin. “It’s the hardest part of my day, you know, having to move away from him, it’s a small break from reality, I can pretend it’s him and I, really together. It’s the saddest moment when he lets go of me, becuase it’s back to the realisation that I’m only his servant, he’ll never love me, it’s my destiny to save him and serve him, nothing more.”

Lancelot’s light laughter stopped, and his gaze was suddenly solemn, he held out his hand for Merlin, and gently pulled him up, Arthur’s arm slipped off Merlin’s chest, a weight instantly missed. Lancelot led Merlin away from the camp, and stopped by a river at the edge of the tree line. He sat on a rock, looking up at Merlin casually. Merlin shifted from foot to foot, refusing to meet Lancelot’s eyes, a deep heart to heart about his feelings was not what he wanted this early in the morning. 

“Merlin, I know-“ Lancelot began.

“Lancelot, I already know what you’re going to say,” Merlin said, immediately interrupting him. “You’ll tell me to be patient, that my devotion to him will be seen, well, Lancelot, I don’t even think he’s attracted to me or my gender. So, on that front, I’m losing hope to be honest, as, you know, he’d never even think of me in that way. I’m just going to stick to what I know best, saving his life and shining his armour, that way it won’t ever be awkward and I just have to hide another secret from him, not like I’m not use to that already, I mean I’ve been hiding my magic from him for years. It’s not like I won’t be happy, Gwen loves him and he loves her, he’s happy! He’s safe! Alive! That’s enough for me!”

“Merlin, breathe! Do you not think I understand this?” Lancelot spoke, slightly raising his voice, Merlin immediately shut his mouth. “Do you not think that’s exactly how I feel about Gwen? She’s with Arthur, and even though it hurts, she’s happy! That’s all that matters to me really.”

“Look at us, couple of morons in love.” Merlin grinned, Lancelot smiled slightly and then stood up with a spear, and started to try and catch some fish for breakfast. “Swilte déor!”

Lots of fish floated up, all resting on top of the water’s surface. Merlin grinned up at Lancelot and began collecting them into his hands.

“Show off,” smiled Lancelot, hooking Merlin under his arm and marching them back to camp. 

As they approached Merlin could hear the knights were up, clamouring and chucking reached his ears and they reached the camp clearing. The men looked up and smirked.

“Arthur was really worried about you Merlin, when he woke up and he wasn’t cuddled into your side, he started to panic,” spoke Gwaine, with a clear smile on his face. “What’s he going to think when he sees you’re here, cuddled under Lancelot’s side?”

The knights all exchanged looks and laughed, clearly happy with their mocking of Merlin, and meaning no harm by it. The knights were aware of Merlin’s feelings, he was sure about it, it was so clear to everyone else that only a moron like Arthur wouldn’t be able to see it. But, that didn’t stop Merlin’s cheeks turning pink, and making the men laugh harder, Lancelot ruffled Merlin’s hair with his other hand, teasing him.

“Merlin! MERLIN!” Arthur’s voice became clearer, the clattering of his armour louder as he approached the camp. He entered through the clearing in the trees, his eyes immediately finding Merlin’s, his face faltering once his gaze landed on Lancelot’s arm, and Merlin’s tinted cheeks and messy hair. 

The knights knew Merlin wouldn’t see it, but this was Arthur’s jealousy beginning to show. Merlin had abandoned him in the morning, left his side to canoodle with Lancelot, and returns to camp dishelved and flustered, what was Arthur to think? Merlin, with all his many talents, was unable to see the hurt hiding behind Arthur’s eyes, knowing it should be his side Merlin was cuddled underneath, not one of his knights. 

“Sorry, Sire,” Lancelot spoke up, removing his arm from Merlin. “Completely my fault, I took Merlin with me to catch breakfast, his skills with the fish are a lot better than mine this early in the morning.”

“Forgiven, Sir Lancelot,” said Arthur, cleaning his throat. “You, however, Merlin, are not. You can come collect firewood with me.”

Merlin thought it was an odd punishment, Arthur help him collect firewood? It just didn’t sound right, however Merlin immediately followed Arthur into the woods anyway, as closely as he could. They walked in silence for about two minutes, tension clearly present in the air, but Merlin was clueless to why it was there. Was Arthur worried when he had woken up and Merlin had disappeared? Afraid he was hurt? Or lost? Was he jealous?

Merlin quickly disminished all thoughts connected to the latter, it was stupid to think a king would love someone like him, a clumsy servant? He had spent his morning talking to Lancelot about why that was so idiotic, to give those thoughts hope was just too painful for Merlin to cope with. 

Merlin started to make comments on the scenery as they walked, commenting on the bees’ hum, or the cloudless, blue sky, anything that would annoy Arthur enough to talk. Which he did not, so Merlin continued his pointless chatter, until he realised they were going in circles.

“I’ve seen that tree before,” Merlin spoke up, seeing the familiar markings. “I’ve defintely seen that tree before!”

“It’s a tree, Merlin!” Arthur whirled round, Merlin relished in his quiet victory of breaking Arthur’s silent treatment, before focusing on his surroundings again. “They all look similar, don’t be such a dollophead.” 

“You know that’s my word, you turnip,” Merlin quipped, Arthur raised an eyebrow, clearly questioning the insult. “We’re lost aren’t we? Why did you take us so far away from the camp to collect firewood? I’ll get the blame for getting us lost later!”

“We’re not lost, Merlin,” Arthur spoke, indignation clear in his voice. “Plus if we are, the knights will find us soon enough.”

“You’ll be sorry when you figure out you’re wrong!” Merlin said, Arthur carried on walking but Merlin could see his shoulders tense.

“I’m the King, Merlin, I’m never wrong!” Arthur shouted back, Merlin strode to catch up with him. Arthur began murmuring things angrily under his breath, Merlin could make out certain words like ‘Lancelot’, ‘lonely’ and ‘abandoned’. 

“Are you going to tell me what you’re muttering about?” Merlin moaned, hoping that Arthur would open up to him soon, like he usually did. “Or am I going to have to annoy you into speaking to me?”

Arthur did nothing to acknowledge this, so Merlin stuck to his word and began to annoy the man in every way he knew how, talking loudly, talking nonsense, talking quietly, not talking at all. Insulting, jesting, hitting, bouncing, clicking, sneezing, and even humming. Nothing broke Arthur.

“Come on, Arthur!”

“Fine! You want to know why I’m so upset?” Arthur snapped, Merlin slowly nodded, as though why he’d been annoying Arthur for the past twenty minutes, as they walked in circles, wasn’t an obvious answer enough for Merlin. “It’s because you’re the greatest friend I’ve ever had, and I never want to lose you.”

“You’re never going to lose me!” Merlin replied, completely confused to where this had come from. “You know I’m always beside you, your loyal servant.”

“Would you say that still if Sir Lancelot was present? Or would you be sneaking off with him?” Arthur remarked, Merlin felt disorientated with the world all of a sudden. The two men had stopped walking, and were stood, inches apart, facing each other, with locked eyes, both furious and intense.

Merlin’s heart was pounding, his ears ringing with the sudden tension present in the space between himself and Arthur. Could this really be about Arthur being jealous? Was he in such a bad mood that he had snuck off this morning with another man? Nothing made sense to Merlin suddenly, his own self-doubt keeping him under the waters of his disbelief, not letting him surface to breathe in the meaning behind Arthur’s words.

“Why would Lancelot affect our friendship?” Merlin questioned, he was going to try and draw out any answers he could from Arthur, before giving out too many of his own. 

“He wouldn’t! That’s not what I’m trying to say, I’m the one that would affect our friendship if, if... if something were happening between you and him,” Arthur spoke, not meeting Merlin’s eyes. Arthur’s words hit Merlin with such realisation that he struggled to breathe, Arthur was not jealous, he was ashamed, ashamed to have a servant who was gay.

“Would it really bother you that much? Me liking men? That you would have to cut off our friendship?” Merlin spoke, years of hurt, of unrequited feelings, hidden within his voice. Arthur immediately faltered, and started to shake his head. “There is nothing going on with me and Lancelot, nothing! But I’m afraid I will have to leave your service if those are your true feelings, as I cannot help who I love Arthur, and will certainly not keep it a secret as I do many other things. This is a secret I can no longer keep without fear of hurting you, and in so, so much more myself.”

“Merlin, you misunderstand m-“

“No! You do not understand me! The secrets I have to keep, the destiny I have to follow! It’s all too painful already, to have to keep another part of me hidden, especially around you, I can’t do it. It’s too much for me, it hurts me too much. You hurt me too much. Today you have shown me that I cannot have these feelings for you, and I don’t think I can be around you when I still feel as strongly as I do. When we get back to camp, I will pack a bag and leave, I will return to Camelot and serve under Gaius, you will be rid of me.”

“Do you always have to create such a drama?” Arthur said, rolling his eyes. Merlin noticed how the tension from Arthur’s shoulders has lessened, and the anger within his eyes had practically disappeared, instead a softer, almost disbelieving had replaced it. “The only reason our friendship would be affected if you and Lancelot were together, would be because it would be too painful to see you in love with someone else, someone who wasn’t me.”

Merlin did a complete 180°, and instead of rambling angrily, stood completely still, silent with shock. He tried to find words but his mouth could not speak any, dry and unmoving, unlike the rapid pulse of his heartbeat. He stared at Arthur, as Arthur stared at him, uncharacteristically nervous, his eyes darting around Merlin’s face, trying to seek an answer he should have already known.

“Arthur, if this is some egotistical way of you gaining more confidence by having me admit my feelings-“

“Merlin, for Christ’s sake! I’m trying to tell you- to say that I-I-I love you,” Arthur struggled, Merlin felt his mouth open and shut, and the repeat. “I should have said it a long time ago, when you went to fight the dragon with me, I knew then, I knew I loved you, that I love you. I love you, Merlin.”

Merlin wanted to question whether he was enchanted, or cursed, or poisoned, maybe if he was concussed, but the honesty in Arhur’s gaze made him stop all of that. Merlin’s mind was screaming at him to say it back but his voice was failing him, the desperation for acceptance clear from Arthur’s face was fading into one of disappointment. The way Arthur’s body began to turn away, ashamed of his confession, seemed to panic Merlin enough for him to breathe, and state-

“And I, you, Arthur.”

Arthur had never reacted so fast in his life, he whipped back around and marched towards Merlin, only stopping when he was centimetres from Merlin’s face.

“You what, Merlin?”

“I love you, Arthur Pendragon.”

Arthur’s face broke out in the most genuine smile Merlin had ever seen, and as Arthur leaned in, Merlin was overjoyed to be able to meet him halfway, and feel the soft touch of his lips on his own. The kiss was deep, hidden from anyone else’s view by the shelter and shade of forest life, it was just Merlin and Arthur, just as it should and always would be.

When they broke away, they stared at each other with the shock and disbelief that this wasn’t just their dreams, it was their reality.

“What about Gwen?” Merlin questioned, after all, Gwen was his friend, and he really didn't want to hurt her.

“Gwen is nothing but a very good friend, she’s been covering for me for years, so I don’t have to announce myself to the kingdom, but, to be with you Merlin, I would announce myself to anybody who ever crossed our path.” Arthur spoke genuinely, bringing Merlin in for another kiss. 

The bushes rustled near them, but the two men were too caught up in each other to notice the five knights quickly fleeing the scene. 

“See I told you it would work if we packed up and moved the camp, they’d get lost, that way they had to at least talk to each other for a few hours,” Gwaine stated, puffing out his chest. The others laughed, to say the plan alone had worked was a miracle, but to say it was Gwaine’s plan? It was unholy. 

“Did you hear that Lancelot?” asked Percival, turning to his friend, who blushed, though was clearly smiling. “Gwen is just Arthur’s friend, that means now you can make your move.”

“Can we not talk like that when I’m present?” Elyan begged, cringing away from his friends. “She may just be platonic with Arthur, but I’m still her brother, so we treat her with the same respect she did when we believed she was with the King.”

“Can’t be a nice feeling, can it?” teased Gwaine, as the other knights looked at him. “To know your sister lied to you for years.”

Elyan shoved him slightly, but Gwaine being the clumsiest of the knights started to roll down the hill he had just climbed, latching onto the other knights, and bringing them down with him. 

Right in front of the currently embracing Merlin and Arthur, who, due to the clatter, broke apart instantly, cheeks both furiously rising in colour. 

“We were just-“

“-just having a talk-“

“-it was some emotional poetry!”

“My lord,” spoke Leon, smirking, but not blatantly smiling smugly like the other knights. “You two have nothing to explain to us, until you feel ready to yourselves-“

“And when that happens, you need to tell us everything!” grinned Gwaine, to which the other knights shoved him for, but all obviously agreed. 

“If you wouldn’t mind, please leave us,” Arthur said, to which the knights all walked back to the camp they had lost themselves. Arthur turned to Merlin. “You said you had other secrets you were keeping from me, what were they?”

“That’s a long story,” began Merlin, but simply closed his palm to reopen it moments later, revealing a small, bright blue butterfly, to which he launched freely in the air. Arthur’s face was shocked, but still held such happiness, that Merlin knew Arthur would accept him for his magic, just as he accepted his love. “But, firstly, before we get into that, can we get back to how we’re still lost?”

“Shut up, Merlin!”

**Author's Note:**

> I miss them so much, and it’s this time of year, when I realise Merlin has been over for over five years, that I need to bring it back. I’ve also changed it a bit, this takes place in a world where Lancelot is not dead, Arthur is King and is “with” Gwen, but not in a relationship, she’s acting as his cover because he doesn’t want anyone to know he is gay, and Gwen is a sweetheart who loves him like family, and would do anything for him.


End file.
